just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
