So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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