# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
