You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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