After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
