hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
