At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
