me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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