i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
