they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
NoShamevember. You game?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
