On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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