oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
