if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
