Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
