well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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