i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
