Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
