When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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