Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
