soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
