I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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