Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
