I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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