So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
