Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
