but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
