I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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