White coat. Heels.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
