M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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