Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
