Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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