they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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