I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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