im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
