so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize