i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
