I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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