Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
