Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I will pee on everything he values.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
