I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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