He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
