Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
