He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
