i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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