hotel room ftw
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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