Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
