take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
my sisters under your porch take her home
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
