she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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