And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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