Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
