So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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