you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
